The Escape

When I was serving time in prison…I tried to break out only once.

I noticed that some of the guards always bought candy from a vending machine to take home with them. I realized that was my ticket out.

So I stuffed myself into a Twinkie wrapper, but my plan was foiled when I realized I couldn’t get myself through the drop-slot on the vending machine.

Damn it.

Scoring the campaigns

This election has seen its share of surprises: the quick rise-and-fall of Fred Thompson, the slugfest between Hillary and Barack, the late Huckabee surge and McCain’s rise from obscurity.

But the most head-scratching is what’s happening now – with only six days left, McCain is fairing well in the national tracking polls as Obama slides.

Why?

McCain’s campaign has been a disaster, period. Save the selection of Sarah Palin, bringing an instant flash of excitement and momentum.

While Barack Obama has been lauded for running a stellar campaign, it’s far from accurate.

Obama has had the benefit of a media more curious about a plumber’s past than Obama’s, the gift of rhetoric without substance and the favorable poll numbers. The most egregious error was the selection of the ever-gaffing Joe Biden over Hillary Clinton.

To spite all the advantages, the democrat nominee finds himself in a very tight race, as Gallup’s latest tracking poll has McCain within two points of Obama and four other national polls show the race is closing:

Rasmussen Reports

Obama 50, McCain 47 -- Obama +3

Diageo/Hotline

Obama 49, McCain 42 -- Obama +7

Reuters/C-SPAN/Zogby

Obama 49, McCain 44 -- Obama +5

GWU/Battleground

Obama 49, McCain 46 -- Obama +3

The reason for the shrinking lead is directly traceable to self-inflicted blunders, as the McCain campaign pounces to widen the gap.

The tale of two Joe’s may decide this election – one, an average American who asked a simple but tough question; the other pleaded supporters not to question his running-mate’s response to an international crisis during the first six months of their administration.

But the most devastating phenomenon is what sealed the fate of Al Gore, John Kerry and Hillary Clinton – the label of inevitability. Once the air of inevitability has been floated by the candidate and legitimatized by the press, the results of the election are often opposite the conventional wisdom.

The Perfect Season vs. Parity

The Tennessee Titans are 2008’s only hope of breaking the 1972 Miami Dolphins record…going undefeated and recording a perfect season.

By this point, all but one of the thirty-two NFL teams has recorded a loss. Some, like the Miami Dolphins, lost their opener and others have yet to record a win – the Detroit Lions and Cincinnati Bengals.

The word “parity” has dominated the league lexicon and been outright abused by sports reporters, players and coaches. Parity is defined as, “equality, as in amount, status, or character.”

But is that really true in the NFL?

At large, the answer is yes because as the hackneyed paraphrased-adage goes, "anyone can beat anyone on any given Sunday.” However it isn’t true as stats and standings go. The Lions, Raiders, Buccaneers and Bengals have proven this, by earning reputations for suffering year-after-year losing seasons.

Parity is not all the Titans have to overcome, they have to win more games as the 1972 season comprised fourteen regular-season games compared to sixteen today. The Dolphins 1972 record was 17-0, just one more game than today’s regular season – something nearly accomplished by the Colts and Patriots in recent years.

Likewise, the Titans may have to overcome the loss of star players, as happens so often in the NFL, once a star is sidelined; the whole team suffers an injury.

It’s not only parity aspiring perfect-season teams are up against, they are threatened weekly with the best of the best in contact sports, the biggest and fastest in league history. Moreover, they are up against sometimes hostile crowds and extreme weather.

Mercury Morris recently told the Nashville City Paper, “I’ll be watching the Tennessee Titans, and I hope to see them go unbeaten,” Morris said. “We’d like a little company.”

With all of the challenges the Titans face, Morris is likely to be waiting a long, long time.